The Chase

Hola

If you are wondering why I haven’t posted anything lately it’s because I’ve been going back and forth with a post that I wrote and I have gotten some feedback saying not to post it. I will take the advice and be the better person. This is MY blog. My blog is not for bashing, calling people out (even though they need to be) or insulting people (directly). These are my stories and my experiences. If you don’t like it..there is a red X in the upper right hang corner. Click it.

That is the end of that for now. Moving on..

Now what I really wanted to talk about was an experience I went through and why it went all wrong.

Around summer time I was seeing someone who seemed perfect. He knew all the right things to say at all the right times. Now I’ve mentioned before on here about how I want to meet “Prince Charming” or whatever bullshit I say. But this guy was the fit for it. He was not crazy and had no psycho exes either which is a plus.

It was simple. We met. He liked me. I liked him. And we starting seeing each other. And all of a sudden it hit me..I was like done. I didn’t realize until after the fact that I left him what the issue was. There was no chase.

Doesn’t that sound awful? I know I’m a terrible person, at least I realize it. He fit the definition of perfect..and I tossed him out like a rag doll in less than a month. Obviously I’ve been feeling bad about this for a couple of months cause I know he deserves someone great. That someone was just not me. I told my friend the other night that I don’t like someone who is “easy” to get…and not the way that you are thinking. I think the people I’m attracted to most and want to get to know more..are the people who AREN’T throwing themselves at me. We never fought or bickered everything was normal and boring. I think that the relationship is stronger when there is bickering and arguing. It shows that you’re being honest and true. It was very annoying to always say the right things and do the right things in his eyes. I’m not perfect, and I don’t want someone else to pretend that I am.

I feel like a jerk though. I complain about someone fantastic not coming along and I leave this dude at the drop of a hat. I was kinda an asshole about it too. Over the phone…I know, how highschool of me?

Now I even made a post a couple weeks ago about how you shouldn’t chase anything but drinks and dreams. Well I think I have a different viewpoint on it now.

chase

Now this statement if controversial to me. Because I think the chase is a detrimental part of a relationship.

One side of me believes that no one should have to chase anyone for love and the other part of me says that it’s important to have a little chase or else there was no work done at all for the relationship. It keeps you on your toes.

I’m not saying I would chase a guy around for months..and I don’t think that anyone should. At some point that person might just be playing games the whole time. There is a certain point where you need to look at yourself and the relationship and decipher whether it’s worth still chasing or you are ready to turn in your badge. Everyone is different. Some people have a very low tolerance level and don’t chase at all. I’m guessing they are more mature people who are ready to find a partner for the rest of their life. They don’t have time for games or chasing. I imagine I’ll hit that point someday.

I think that when people care about the relationship they will chase and won’t let them walk away. A way of finding out if somebody cares..is to try moving on and see what they do about it. Shows there true character and if they really care.

For now, I’ll go with the flow. And when I think I’m done, then I’m done.

Courtney

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19 thoughts on “The Chase

  1. I was really looking forward to your other post! but this is really good too! dont let others scare you away from posting what you feel. thats what makes what we do so rewarding! 🙂

  2. Well I hope I don’t have to tell anyone that there’s just no such thing as Mr. / Miss’s right, no Prince / Princess Charming, and definitely no such thing as Christian Gray or Anastsaia Steel (tho I was Ffifty Shades of Gray way before it was the in thing! i know TMI! lmao) for that matter.

    The truth of the matter is we all have millions if not trillions of both physical and yes mental flaws. We’re all just a tiny bit bat shit crazy, with some being more than others. Let me give you a few examples.

    I’m politically what is know as a conservative. To me anyone who is a liberal / progressive is flawed. It’s a mental disorder if your ask me. Now on the other side of the coin I’m sure most liberals think the same exact way about conservatives. Here’s another example, I’m not a very handsome guy (flaw) and I can say that someone that wouldn’t give me the time of day is shallow (flaw). Now someone out there may find me handsome who knows. When it comes down to relationships what we try to do in selection of a mate is try to find someone who’s flaws match our own as near as possible, and find there flaws we can overlook.

    I think Dr. Seuss said it best… “We are all a little weird and life is a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.” 🙂

    Ah the Chase… Well I have to be honest I was in a relationship with another women half my age about 2 or 3 years ago. I was in total love with her, and if you ask me if I still am I would have to answer honestly a resounding YES! But it ended as about as bad as it could have ended and I was crushed. I lost about 25lbs due to not eating, and I think I came really close to a total breakdown. My eyes are watering now as I type this in fact. So this blog post reminded me of that experience much in the same way music dose if you know how to really listen to it. It’s one thing to know a song and be able to sing the words, but if you don’t feel the song and understand the words you sing your missing out on a lot!!!

    Vertical Horizon – he’s everything you want. http://youtu.be/IwXaQ5hfV3w

  3. Just a quick follow up as I ran out of time posting. When your in true love you will know it. It’s like no other high you can imagine! An if it happens to end its also just as devastating. Laying on the floor of the shower with the water pouring over your body crying so hard your literally suffocating do to lack of air is something I wish I never had to happen to me and wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

  4. Hey Court … nice seeing you again *sends a hug*

    I think I’m a bit different from you in this aspect … I myself long for an ‘easy’ relationship. Where I know we each can be truthful and open, … and feeling that the other person is perfect… or rather, perfect for me. (I am stealing that from you by the way *smiles*).

    And actually, let me back up … I said up there that “I myself long for…” …. at the moment, I feel good about being with me. I neither wish to remain single all my life, nor am I looking for a relationship. I’m just trying to like myself again.

    Perhaps it’s similiar with you. Not the ‘liking’ yourself thing … but perhaps the being single thing? It might be that you think you want to be with someone … when perhaps you are not ready yet? I’m not saying you don’t want to want someone … more …perhaps society pressures us to “be in relationships” … so subconciously you try for that?

    Ok … I KNOW I am talking garbldy goop. It may very well be that what you mentioned in your blog post is exactly right for you and I have things wrong! (Wouldn’t be the first time … or second….or third…)

    Neverthless … I am just glad to see you *huuugggs*

    • Glad to be back 😉
      I think that I’m the same way. It’s hard to get use to being single and i think I still am. You’re right though. Society does want us to be in a relationship. I need to actually like myself alot more before I can commit to someone. I’ve realized I have some major insecurity issues for several different reasons.
      All that aside… How was your vacation?! Oh how I’ve missed you

      • Ohh … that went grand! We swam with dolphins … and manta rays too! ohhh….the water was soooooo fabulous!

        As for insecurity issues … nods. We all have some degree of that (at least most people do….normal people nod nods) … but everyone’s insecurity can be a little different.

        At any rate … I like you *smiles* … but as you said, feelng good about yourself has to be something you work on. Try baby step things. Tell yourself once a day …. “I am yum”. Say it out loud to yourself … just one time …it won’t cure everything, but it will either make you feel a little better…or make you feel totally like a goofball …but of which in my head is good *smiles*

      • I am off to Hawaii in 7 weeks. Going to see whales and snorkel and run a marathon! Very excited!

        Yes I’m working on it. I think I have the issues from comparing myself to others and what other people say when they are mad. You know what I mean? Ugh I’ll get there one day I hope

  5. Hey Court, I am wondering if it perhaps was not the lack of a chase, but maybe an underlying feeling that niggled at you. Something was just not quite right and it whispered warnings to you.

    so if there is a chase and it is fun, that is grand, If there is no chase, but it feels grand… well then it is.

    If you feel it was grand and you messed up.. pull that phone out and call him back. If it was right, he will come.

    🙂

    too simple?

    • I don’t think that I messed it up. I believe I’m doing the chasing and that soon enough I’ll turn in my card. I can only take so much.. It comes to the point where are they playing games or are they really serious? Not sure but don’t know how long I’ll hang

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