Why ex boyfriends STAY ex boyfriends

I thought that when people were older and mature they stayed friends with the people they weren’t in relationships with anymore.

After being in a relationship for over 3 years, I thought that if me and Matt ever broke up that we would at least stay friends. He had not only been my boyfriend for that long but he was also my best friend. After breaking up, I think we didn’t talk for about a month then we starting talking again as friends. I think a couple of times we even thought to ourselves as to why we broke up in the first place and that maybe we could try things again.

The first couple times we hung out it was great, it was like old friends finding each other again. Soon enough all those nasty ghosts came back though. We were back to square one. Fighting constantly. We just couldn’t get along and it would end up ugly, and we’d both be frustrated with one another.

We stopped talking for a couple months and I finally started talking to someone new and he caught wind of it. He confessed to me that he has had his share of girls on the side which he regrets. (Not sure if that’s true). Now, I’m not sure if he came running back to talk to me cause he was jealous or because he really missed me. But he completely poured his heart out to me confessing that he still loves me and that he would do anything to be with me again and fix this mess we got into.

He told me that I needed to get rid of the guy I was talking to completely. I told him that I wasn’t going to do that. I was going to stay friends with him. I didn’t want anyone on the side…But mostly I didn’t like the control. Who are you to tell me that I can’t talk to anyone cause you came back into my life all of the sudden? At first he was ok with it, THEN all of a sudden the next day he said he was all or nothing. He then decided to MESSAGE the guy I was talking to, to try to piss him off. I think he was trying to do this to completely get rid of him without me doing it.

His maturity level and true self rose to the surface and I think that was my final decision on him. Done. Forever. Unfortunately we can’t even be friends, and I’ve tried. It’s sad because he was great friends with my sister too. And after calling me the c word, I told him to never contact me or anyone in my family again.

He always nagged me about how I never wrote about him on my blog. Well here you go. You’re welcome. Even though we don’t stay in contact anymore, I’m pretty sure that you subscribe to my blog and read all my posts. And I’m positive that you or someone anonymous will comment on this.

Please feel free. I love the comments. Anyone can comment below anonymously.

It’s comforting being with someone who knows everything about you and what you have been through. They know what makes you happy and what pisses you off (could be a bad thing). They know when you reply… in a text that implies that I’m pissed and they know how to handle you when you react to certain things.

A friend and I were talking about this the other day. Yea, sure it is nice to have someone familiar back. But sometimes it’s really not worth it. It is nice to have someone new who would like to get to know you and found out all those things about you. Hopefully I find that again.

But that my friends is the reason why exes stay exes.

Don’t forget, there was a reason why you aren’t together anymore.


8 thoughts on “Why ex boyfriends STAY ex boyfriends

  1. Wow Courtney you’re pretty patient with your ex (something I wouldn’t be able to be). Any ex I’ve had I hated afterward. But it’s too true that they stay your ex for a reason. The best revenge is finding someone who can make you happier and bring out the best in you.

    • I tried to be patient and I tried to make ends meet. I was wrong but I don’t regret what I did because it helped me learn that even when you know people that long, sometimes people change.
      Thanks for the comment πŸ™‚
      And I hope to find someone who makes me SUPER happy and brings out the best in me πŸ˜‰

  2. Good post, I can see him getting very pissed at you including him in this way. but who cares, he’s out of your life. I wonder if he’ll yell at me… can’t wait for some more facebook drama. since i didnt join facebook til college, i love me some facebook drama every once in a while, and due to my smart ass remarks it makes them very angry and me not angry or scared at all, should be fun. πŸ™‚

    • OHHH I’m sure he’s fuming. That’s besides the point. I write about whatever and whomever I want.
      Hopefully no drama is started. Let’s prove to him that we are adults.

  3. “Love hurts, love scars, love wounds, and marks/any heart…” sorry Court. Make yourself happy and keep the company of those who are happy for you. Maybe some distant day he’ll be in that category, but hold no breaths for that day. The love that lasts is a lot more peaceful and accepting than this.

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