Blow me one last kiss

Recently in the world of Courtney I joined a dating site.

Yes yes I know unbelievable. Dangerous. Stupid. Crazy. Weird. Whatever you wanna say…I’ve heard it.

But hey, I figured I’d try it and to be 100% honest it was on the top 25 under social networking on my iphone 🙂

But I consider myself pretty ballsy so I’m trying it. After this atrocious experience you may wonder why I haven’t deactivated my account. The truth is that I think it is a whole other world and I think that you really can’t trust anyone, whether they are from a website or you see them everyday of your life. People lie and that’s a fact. And truth be told, I don’t have time to date. Online dating seemed really ideal for me at the time…and maybe still does. I’m still thinking about it.

But let’s start out with the story.

I’ll be blunt and honest. I get A LOT of messages. Creepy, old, young, fat, skinny, hot, again..OLD. All shapes, colors, sizes and ages.

I was weeding out people one night at a friends house. I got it down to like 10 guys out of maybe 120 guys that messaged me. A couple of them kind of flaked out whether or not I decided to not respond or they took too long. I’m not even exactly sure. Since I was new to this site I didn’t know all of the nitches. So all of the guys that I narrowed down, I figured I would place into my “Favorites” category. Simply because I was getting some many more messages in that I couldn’t keep up, so I wanted to save all the interesting, charming, good looking, ambitious guys in a separate category.

Little did I know that the guys were notified when I “Favored” them. GREAT. Thanks, thanks a lot.

Well, one of them messaged me and we got along great. He is a personal trainer (I know, you think I would learn from the last one) But quite frankly I wanted to prove this myself wrong, I wanted to write about him and tell you about how THIS personal trainer wasn’t like the rest. I think he actually even read the post about the other douche bag personal trainer. Hmm well guess my theory was right. Wasn’t it?

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We ended up exchanging numbers. We talked constantly…I kid you not. From the moment we got each others number we would message each other nonstop. If we had something to do where we couldn’t be on our phone, we’d tell each other. This went on for about 3 weeks maybe. From Good morning to Goodnight we were always talking. He went away camping with his friends the first weekend we started talking and he called me and we talked for awhile. He had posted some hot yet very douchey photo of himself with his friends on his facebook page. We had talked and planned about meeting up the minute he got done camping. He was going to have lunch with me before my class. He ended up flaking on me the night before claiming he didn’t know that he had work.

Now, my friend warned me right away and said “Dude, he seems like a total fuckin flake Courtney”

But I decided along with advice from a couple others that I would give him one more try and that I certainly wasn’t going to plan it. Soon enough, after working around our busy schedules we found a day. We met about the halfway point from our houses and saw a movie.

I was FREAKING out to say the least. I was nervous, I have never talked with someone so much and told him so much about me and never met them. I thought it was going to be awkward.

Turns out it wasn’t. Not at all.

It was actually perfect. It wasn’t awkward at all. He hugged me and we hit it off. He paid for my ticket and we joked and laughed until the movie started. He ordered some food and a drink and I ordered myself a drink as well. We laughed and flirted the entire movie. I planned on paying for the food/drinks but when I went to the bathroom he paid. He held my hand throughout the movie and then grabbed it again as we walked outside. He kissed me goodnight at my car and told me he’d text me.

Within 4 minutes he messaged me about how he was happy that we finally met and that he had a great time. I reciprocated and told him the same. I was very content at that moment.

SO the constant talking resumed as usual. We talked about what we were doing just about every moment. At the end of the weekend I had work and I really wasn’t attached to my phone. I had clinical from 7-3 and work 3-11 so I was tired and slacking at work.

I texted him the moment I clocked out saying “Whacha doing?”

He replied, “That’s rookie stuff. We can top that. Oh friends bed too lol got cockblocked tho”

His next text was: WOW. Wtf t9 error. Wow!!!

The text after that was: Lol omg. Never drive, eat I’ve cream and text.

Clearly, clearly you suck at multitasking? Is that what you are trying to tell me? Oh, and on TOP of that DUI that you mentioned to me as well? Hmm yea that doesn’t seem to intelligent now does it? Funny how people tell you things about them…

I never texted him back. Honestly I didn’t know what to say.

Here’s the way I see it:

A) I could go with the psycho gf route

Example: What the fuck are you talking about? Explain.

B) I could play it off and laugh

Example: Hahahah that’s funny!

C) I could assume and read into it

Example: Go fuck yourself I never want to talk to you again

D) Ignore him completely and wait.

I chose D.

The bottom line is that I’m not his girlfriend so I have no right to demand anything. I’m NOT going to play it off like I don’t care…cause I do. I want to assume the worst but I’m going to wait for you to reassure me that it was nothing and I’m overreacting. So I’ll wait.

But let’s get back to that text? What could it mean? I see it as he is either talking to a guy about places to hookup with girls OR he is talking to a girl about places to hook up with her. Either way I think that it is REALLY sketchy.

The next morning, nothing. I was waiting and waiting for it. Nothing again. Wtf.

I was really upset all day, over thinking it WAY too much. Telling all my friends about it and asking what they think I should do.

Hmm so wait game it is.

I started to get really upset that day after school. I was really trying to figure out what to text him or call him. But what would I say?

I went for a run to clear my head at like 10pm. It was nice and chilly outside and after jogging for awhile I just stopped. I just cried and let it all out. Yep, I said it. I cried. Humans do that. I was overwhelmed with a lot lately and not to mention I am a girl. Let’s not forget that.

I get home and checked facebook. He deleted me. Oh joy.

That’s how much I meant to you? Ohh I get it!

Ugh when will I learn? But to be blatantly honest…could I have avoided that? I should have stopped talking to him cause he had a DUI? I know people that have DUI’s, hell I know people who are worse off with that and I like them. I have said a lot of things on here before about age and looks. It doesn’t matter to me. I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt until I can make a decision myself. Who am I to judge you? Just like who are you to judge me? I’m not perfect.

SO I cut off all ties with other guys to try and actually be a decent person and put all my time and effort into one guy.

Of course it back fired..

Shame on me, guess I should have to be talking to a million guys so that one will at least work out. Right? But that’s not me.

Frustrating. Sucks when you think everything that person said was true but it was all fake. Did he deserve a text back? Should I have said something? I’m almost glad that I didn’t say anything cause his true colors showed.

Just like the lyrics…”I think I maybe think too much” from the song “Blow me one last kiss”, except in this case I want you to kiss my ass, assclown.

LESSON: My sister told me I need to stop searching for someone. She told me that the minute I stop looking for someone, someone will find me.

Let’s hope she’s right.



13 thoughts on “Blow me one last kiss

  1. *nods* she may be right Court. When you stop looking for things, they often show up. I think it is some sort of plot by aliens.. *nods wisely* they are toying with us. lol

    But you know, your instincts, always trust them. Don’t second guess.

  2. I have to agree with your sister as well. Don’t try and force love or relationships. Also try and not judge people so harshly, I’ve had the unfortunate experience of having a DUI. Sometimes people make huge, huge mistakes in there lives. But I like to think most people learn from there own failures and become better people because of it. That being said some people will never learn and be total failures there whole life. Rofl. I guess what I’m saying is its ok to judge, just don’t jump to conclusions to fast. Everyone dose stupid things in there own lives and will continue to do so untill the day they die.

    Next, WTF do you need a dating site for? Lol. Your a beautiful women Courtney! You have a smile that would melt a mans very soul! Trust me on this… You don’t need that shit. 😄

    -creepy old guy. Rofl

  3. Hmm I think I’m going to have to play devils advocate on this one. I think its an easy way out to just say “stop looking and it will find you” the only reason I say this is because anything worth having is worth trying. I have been on two dating sites for over a year and have my share of horror stories to go along with them. But with those horror stories I also have a handful of great experiences where I made a lot of good friends. I say give it another go but just watch out for the signs that people are lying. Its not easy because any person can lie about who they are online. Just keep in mind there are some good people out there that aren’t douche bags and serial killers lol

  4. Personally, I think your choice (d) was the right one.

    As to things “backfiring” (regarding just seeing the one person instead of dating several) … I wouldn’t look at it that way. You went with your instinct … it didn’t work out. You go with your instinct now to just wait and see what he does (which appears he has done) … it showed you what the deal is.

    By the way, I haven’t a clue what that text message meant. What I do see though, is the the subsequent follow up ones were sent in an effort to try to cover the first one.

    As to the “when you stop looking someone will enter your life” type thing … I generally would say I subscribe to that (though I am not looking and neither do I have a dinner partner … so take this with about 5 bazillion grains of salt).

    Perhaps it is more correct to say, actively looking is okay, so long as you realize that by actively looking, you will naturally find more opportunities to date, hence more opportunities to find potential partners AND potential douchbaggaries.

    I would say, if you can learn that being with yourself is okay, then not “looking” is a lot easier.

    You hang in there Court. *sends a hug your way*

  5. hey… if you figure out the dating thing, please explain it to me – ta

    oh, and his reply… didn’t understand a word of it, i think meeting a person who can speak/write proper English would be high on my list 😉

    • Hahaha I agree! Whatever he was talking about doesn’t even matter anymore…
      It’s just hard I find someone “real” no one is going to tell you their flaws up front. So it’s like you need to dig and need to keep yourself protected from being hurt.
      Like my sister said good thing it happened in the beginning cause I would have been pretty pissed if I was far into the relationship..
      And I will figure out dating one day! I hope haha! 🙂

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