Revenge of the Sith

Yes, I actually was watching Star Wars the other day for a little while with my brother…

I have watched them all. Especially cause I think Obi-Wan Kenobi is hot. I know, I don’t know why, I just do. But, it really got me thinking about revenge. So I looked it up on urban dictionary cause its funny and this is what I saw:

Revenge 203 up15 down
revenge is shitting on the lawn of the guy who
let his dog take a dump in your yard.

As glorious as I think it would be to shit on someones lawn, it’s not something I’d be willing to do for revenge. I know it’s really crazy and immature but I would realllyyy like to get revenge on people sometimes. I know, people talk about karma and all that, and I honestly believe in karma but sometimes I don’t wanna wait. Karma is taking too long, I’d rather punch you right now. Haha ok maybe I went too far, but the point is that I really have thought about getting someone back in very malicious ways. I have never acted upon them but as of this summer it really did cross my mind. Here are my revenge ideas:

The Best friend

What are best friends for? Besides being there for you through everything, it may be pretty sweet to have them screw over the guy that hurt you too. Ever think of that? I have a reallyyy hot friend (obviously they are all hot) but she’s got some charm and I would def sick her on some guy if I ever wanted her to screw them over. I think we have even discussed this before. She’d def be my girl for that.

The good ole drops of Visine.

Yes, yes it works…I am not living proof. But I have heard MANY horror stories about it. It’s not just two drops btw, it is about half a bottle to do any harm on anyone over 200lbs. BUT it is highly illegal and something I’ve never done before….unfortunately. You think I’m a crazy bitch right now don’t you? Well..Your bowels will be fuckeddd up for a couple of days. You’ll be runnin to that toliet bro.

This awesome website I just found let’s you expose guys and lets you tell terrible stories about the things that they have done. The website started in 2006 and it was only up for five months but already had 600,000 hits a day and had 520,000 registered users. DAMN. The co-founder of the website says, “We get e-mails every day from women who have seen guys on and haven’t dated the guy because they heard or read about what the guy has done to other women.” My only issue with that would be crazy bitches going on there making up shit. Understandable. BUT guys can look up themselves and see if they’re on there and write back next to her comment and explain/tell your side. Click here if ya wanna look yourself up. 🙂

I mean there are tons of ways to get back at someone. Whether I will act on it or not is another story. I could always make a dating profile for them that is gay, then have 100+ gay men message me and forward them all your phone number….ohhh I really am crazy 🙂

No no no..I won’t do it, quit shitting your pants. I just really would like to that’s all I’m saying.

“The best revenge is living well.”
― Jerry Seinfeld

I WILL be immature for just one hot second though and tell you about how the guy from this post: Call me Maybe? decided he wanted to message me this the other day:

I thought it was some sick joke…until I went into my phone and found this:

SOOO you went on a date with me and you don’t even remember what I look like?! Wow.. Funny how guys lie to get what they want. Cause you are the EXACT opposite of everything you just messaged me. You really don’t wanna know what I messaged him back.

And whoa…lemme just add real quick…who says “ya digg”? …I’m pretty sure Snoop Dogg is the only one who can get away with that you toolbag.

Oh guys. Just want them honest. That’s all. I really am a nice girl. Honest to god- I just can’t fathom cheaters and liars. That’s where I draw the line. So if you’re not a flaming assclown you won’t see yourself on my blog.

Eventually when I get the balls to tell the story about how I got screwed over, you will understand why I would like to get revenge. But I want this post to make a point that I won’t get revenge. I am much more mature than that. (Besides the fact that I might blog about you- don’t worry I only get about 1,000 hits a month)

PLUS now you all read this so you’ll know it’s me if it happens to you right? Right. So the answer to your question is NO. I will NOT become Darth Vader.

….yet 😉



5 thoughts on “Revenge of the Sith

  1. Oh My God!

    LOL…I am sitting here thinking … I am a total wimp compared to you. I have never heard that about Visine, nor that Don’t Date Him website.

    If I ever get a date again, and if I get totally lied to, I am coming to you for advice.

    (And … I have yet to post my super depressing story … one day I will too though.)

    • Hahaha you will get a date! What makes you think that!! And yes I am a little ballsy aren’t I?
      I’m telling you. I’m pretty good at relationships, just not my own 🙂 haha

      • Ack … I have had several dates post divorce. A couple relationship gone bad … and about a year ago….ack…that is the thing I was saying I will one day write about…the dark thing. Ack!

        And … that you are … let’s say “assertive” … is what I am not…and I admire that.

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