Here it is, what we all talk about. The biggest issue with relationships. The thing men and women worry about the most.
And the question we all want to ask is why? If you aren’t content with the relationship you are in, then why don’t you break it off? Why must you have two people? Are you being THAT selfish? There is always a possibility that a person can get attracted to another. Its human nature. It’s not wrong. But when you’re in a commitment, you need to discipline yourself.
Well me being the young and naive girl that I am, I have had first hand experience being “the other woman”. First things first, you can judge me or not. It has taken a lot out of me to come clean about this affair but I think that maybe people can learn from my mistakes. I have made some very poor decisions but I believe that it has made me a wiser better person today. Deciding to judge me or not, it isn’t going to change the story because it already happened. So here it is…
I still remember the first day I saw him..there was something there…something I couldn’t quite put my finger on. All I know is that I couldn’t stop smiling. There was an extreme amount of chemistry like nothing I had ever experienced. After seeing him that first time, we couldn’t get enough of one another. We would run into each other all the time and after a couple of weeks I considered him a very trustworthy friend of mine. He helped me get through some personal issues going on in my life and we both had the same humor. We were constantly laughing and smiling when we were with one another. After getting to know one another he had mentioned to me about how he had just started a relationship with a girl about three weeks ago. So here was my first mistake, I’ll admit it. You don’t mess around with another girl’s man, and I never really thought about it until it hit me. Just like a freight train. I caught myself not being able to fall asleep at night because I was so thrilled to see him the next day. That’s when I knew I caught some deep feelings for this guy. I could never be upset if I was in his presence or about to see him.
MAYBE I thought he would break up with his girlfriend for me. MAYBE I was so confident that I was better than her that he had to break up with her. MAYBE I thought he was going to sweep me off my feet like some romantic comedy movie. and MAYBE just MAYBE I was delusional..
Yes, I’m going to go with that. Get real Courtney.
Anyhow weeks went on and soon I found him blowing me off. This didn’t happen once or twice or three times. I can’t even remember how many times this happened. BUT I had it coming. I knew exactly what I was getting into when I signed up for this. I found myself ignoring him a lot and he would find a way to apologize and tell me how sorry he was followed by a lame ass excuse. Then this would repeat. He would invite me out or we would plan a date and same shitt….a couple of times he wouldn’t fall through but mostly he ditched. He was walking all over me and it was like an emotional roller coaster of feelings. I was furious then sad then saw him (and believe his lies) and then content then depressed then pissed then happy….etc..etc. I was trying to figure out what the fuck I did wrong. What was I missing? What did I need to do? When REALLY it wasn’t me at all. It was him wanted his cake and eating it too. It was him who wanted his domesticated mature older serious girlfriend AND have this fun young carefree girl on the side. And there’s the keyword SIDE. After this went on for ten months I finally hit a breaking point. There comes a time when you are sick of the bullshit, lies and headaches trying to figure out what to do. I was trying to erase the feelings. I couldn’t believe that I had invested so much time and emotions into him. And who is to say that even if he did break it off with his girlfriend that he wouldn’t do the same to me? Why would I be any different? He told me that his 1st girlfriend he dated for four years ended because she caught him in a lie with girl #2. Now girl #2(who was smart and said she wasn’t going to hook up with him until he was with her) is his girlfriend and he wanted me as his side deal. Matt Titus, a relationship expert and author says, “You cheat because you’re looking for what your partner doesn’t have”. Cheating is a choice not a mistake. And if a guy is telling you that they really do care and they love you and if they weren’t with her he DEFINITELY be with you, its BULLSHIT. They don’t. They love the idea of having two women. That’s all. Ladies, if you have to go through his phone, email, and facebook just to know what he’s really up to, then you don’t need to be with him.
Now after it’s all said and done we are friends still. It’s hard to look at him the same way and he has made a couple of advances but I know it was just be the same crap and I would be left heartbroken once again. He is not going to change, and I knew I needed to put an end to it. Sadly I don’t think he ever has the intention of telling his girlfriend about me (DUH!? why would he?) But of course I feel guilty about what I did and I feel bad for her mostly. Even if she does find out about us I found this statistic very interesting:
19 percent of people who were cheated on ended the relationship right away. 22 percent eventually broke up because they couldn’t get over the betrayal. That also means that a whopping 78 percent of these couples actually never broke up because of an affair!
“A real man ends a relationship before searching for another.”
But it is funny how things turn out.
Learn from my mistakes,