I have had this conversation with many friends and acquaintances before. The whole “I’ll call you” or “Call me” line. Now I gotten plenty of guys phone numbers before whether it was at a party, a bar, work, facebook, or even from a friend (bad right?). The one thing that I have learned is that if he’s interested…HE WILL CALL.
Don’t fret about this, you have absolutely no control over it.
Us women over think and assume way too much (including myself) and there is nothing that drives me crazier than a guy that asks for your number and never gets a hold of you. We spend so much time obsessing over why he didn’t call or making excuses like…he is busy at work and he may have lost his phone. If you really have a connection with someone he will text/call right away and grab you before someone else does. I was watching The View the other day and one of the women on there said that when she was in the dating scene she would take the number from the guy. This is giving you the upper hand. So if the guy is a complete creep/douchebag/drunk asshole. You can decide to never text/ call him, let alone save his number in your phone. Although I have had douchebags say “No, just lemme get your number..”
NO. NO. NO.
Having their number also gives you the time to play the “hard to get game“. Not that I think we should play any games at all. I HATE GAMES. And I will probably repeat that again soon, BUT this is to keep the chemistry going.. He’s not going to want a girl that throws herself at him. Give it a couple days or maybe even wait until you see him again. He might think that he did something wrong and try to win you even more OR he might think your not interested so then after you see him maybe you should try communicating so that he knows you want to see him again.
So I’m going to tell a story about a guy who tried using me/was way to forward with his calling/texting.
One time I was at the gym and this attractive guy asked if I wanted to take a personal training session for free. And I thought to myself, “Ughhh I’m sweaty and I just ran a mile and I have no makeup on…FUCK.” and then I thought “Wow am I really going to turn this offer down?” So I decided to do it and had a really great workout with this guy, not to mention I’m sure he got a good view after he made me do lunges for about 30 minutes. Anyhow, he ended up asking for my number at the end of the session.
First Red flag
So your going to ask for my phone number after I have known you for not even an hour and your at work? He texted me as soon as I left and I got the text in my car. We ended up talking and the very next day he asked me for a picture of myself. Me being the smartass that I am sent him a picture of my face from a couple of days prior to that…nevertheless he wasn’t very fond of that. He came up with some coy way of asking me for a risque photo of me. When I declined he was upset to say the least with a bad attitude which I presume he thought was cute cause he tried covering it up and apologizing.
Second Red flag
That soon? One day and you want a picture of me already? I was dumb and young so I didn’t see EXACTLY what he wanted right before my eyes. I ended up hanging out with him that weekend. I went over to his house and he made me dinner. His dad was in the living room right next to us and I was being friendly and outgoing as usual and he never introduced me to him
Third Red flag
I should have known after him not introducing me to his dad that he obviously had no intention of keeping me for the long run but again us women sometimes are blinded by whats right in front of us. He ended up trying to take me up to his room and hooking up. I told him that maybe we should see a movie instead. He said alright….. and we went and saw a movie. He didn’t seem too thrilled but we went and when we got up to pay he said something to me about going halfsies but i honestly didn’t hear him. After he paid for the two of us, he bitched the whole rest of the time and throughout the movie about how he had no money now.
Fourth & Final Red flag
What a date/night from hell right? So I told myself that after the movie that was it! Screw this asshole…I have never had anyone who bitched this much about paying not even ten dollars for my movie ticket. I wonder what he would have done if I asked for popcorn or a coke. SHIT. So after the horrendous two hour movie. We went back to his house and I booked it for my car. I got in and locked the doors. He made it over to my car and asked what i was doing acting all shocked. And I flat out told him..I wasn’t keeping it in any longer. I explained how fucking ignorant and rude it was of him to bitch about the movie and he claimed he was joking and wanted to sit in my car and talk about it and then he called me a bitch and tried the whole win her over thing. SORRY BUCKO but you’ve got the wrong girl..flirting with me like that ISN’T going to work. FUCK OFF. He got all pissed off after I finally told him I was leaving and he said NO…and I said No, really get the fuck out I’m leaving. He got all pissed, slammed my door and stormed away after bitching for a couple more minutes. Needless to say that up until then I finally realized all he wanted was some ass.
“Boys spend their time looking for girls to sleep with. Men spend the time looking for the one worth waking up to”
ANYHOW, back to the whole call me deal. I ended up never messaging/calling him again and I never wanted to work out cause his douchebagier self was there. So i got fat. lol jk. He tried getting a hold of me again and when I denied him he said something like “too bad I didn’t even get any pictures out of this stupid fuckin relationship”. Funnnnny…what relationship?
Now here’s my other deal with the call me thing. If by some chance he has your number, wait for it. Please just do that. I know it is on your mind all the time but if he is thinking about you he will make sure he shows you through a mere call or text. You can’t do anything about it anyhow because you don’t have his number so you just have to hope for the best and hope that he had the same connection with you. Now if the two of you both exchanged numbers, I’m going to give the same advice. WAIT. I know it seems really old fashion and most women are kind of forward and guys like that. But, this is the fool proof way of knowing if a guy is into you. Plus you will get a GREAT deal of satisfaction knowing that out of the blue he was thinking about you and called or texted.
So my deal is that if he doesn’t text you, then you have your answer. It may not be something you did. He just may not be interested in a relationship. If he sees that you are looking for some one night of fun, maybe he wants the complete opposite and doesn’t even want to bother. MAYBE he was just being polite and didn’t want to deny you his number. In a recent study, 78 percent of women believe that a man hadn’t called her back for reasons beyond her control, i.e. the elusive “chemistry” or a career that intimidates men. The truth is that 85 percent of men surveyed felt the opposite. In fact, there were sometimes small and always-specific behaviors women exhibited which ended up being deal-breakers for the guys. But don’t spend time obsessing over what you could have done differently. Move on. But then the hard part comes when he tells you he likes you, yet doesn’t get a hold of you. This is why you need his number. CONTROL.
Ladies, if he doesn’t call you..his loss. Trust me. Stand your ground.
It sounds petty and dumb but he was probably an asshole anyhow. I use to tell myself that the whole “you are better than them anyhow” quote was what everyone was suppose to say when a guy denies you. But honest to god…they are right. The majority of them are flaming sacks of shit. So thankfully they didn’t text/call you and fuck everything up.
“Don’t chase anybody. Be you & do your own thing & work hard. The right people who belong in your life will come to you, & stay.”
Learn from my mistakes,
Survey courtesy of Happen magazine.